Random Tables: Needlessly Random D&D

Once, long ago, way too late at night and after far too many sodas, some friends and I thought up an odd thing to do with D&D (back in the old days of 3rd ed, before 3.5 was a thing). In a nutshell, the concept was ludicrously random characters.

How random? Entirely. 

Ability scores: 3d6 or whatever other method you like, in order. I prefer just rolling 1d20 6 times for really chaotic ability scores. 

So, Race: roll 1d8

1. Dwarf

2. Elf

3. Gnome

4. Halfling

5. Half-elf

6. Half-orc

7. Human

8. random non-standard race

Class: Roll 1d12. Roll again every level. 

1. Barbarian

2. Bard

3. Cleric

4. Druid

5. Fighter

6. Monk

7. Paladin

8. Ranger

9. Rogue

10. Sorcerer

11. Wizard

12. Random non-standard class

Skills: 1d36 (Usually just use random.org for odd numbers like this, but if you know a way to do this on dice, super, let me know). Put maximum ranks into a skill until all ranks are placed. It doesn't matter if the rolled skill is crossed classed or even useful for your class. you max it. 

1. Appraise

2. Balance

3. Bluff

4. Climb

5. Concentrate

6. Craft (1d6: 1. alchemy, 2. armorsmithing, 3. bowmaking, 4. weaponsmithing, 5. trapmaking, 6. any other item). 

7. Decipher script

8. Diplomacy

9. Disable Devise

10. Disguise

11. Escape artist

12. Forgery

13. Gather information

14. Handle Animal

15. Heal

16. Hide

17. Intimidate

18. Jump

19. Knowledge (1d10: 1. arcana, 2. architecture & engineering, 3. dungeoneering, 4. geography, 5. history, 6. local, 7. nature, 8. nobility & royalty, 9. religion, 10. the planes). 

20. Listen

21. Move Silently

22. Open Lock

23. Perform (1d10: 1. acting, 2. comedy, 3. dance, 4. keyboard instruments, 5. oratory, 6. percussion instruments, 7. strong instruments, 8. wind instruments, 9. sing, 10. make something up or roll again). 

24. Profession (1d30: 1. architect, 2. baker, 3. barrister, 4. brewer, 5. butcher, 6. clerk, 7. cook, 8. courtesan, 9. driver, 10. engineer, 11. farmer, 12. fisherman, 13. gambler, 14. gardener, 15. herbalist, 16. innkeeper, 17. librarian, 18. merchant, 19. midwife, 20. miller, 21. miner, 22. porter, 23. sailor, 24. scribe, 25. shepherd, 26. stable master, 27. soldier, 28. tanner, 29. trapper, 30. woodcutter). 

25. Ride

26. Search

27. Sense Motive

28. Sleight of Hand

29. Speak Language

30. Spellcraft

31. Spot

32. Survival

33. Swim

34. Tumble

35. Use Magic Devise

36. Use Rope

Feats: 1d110

Yes, feats are random too. If, for some reason, you don't qualify for the randomly rolled feat, roll again until you get one you can take. It doesn't matter if the feat is useless too you, only that you can legally take the feat. If you already have the feat (either as a feat or a class feature, re-roll). 

1. Acrobatic

2. Agile

3. Alterness

4. Animal Affinity

5. Armor Proficiency (Light)
6. Armor Proficiency (Medium)
7. Armor Proficiency (Heavy)
8. Athletic
9. Augment Summoning
10. Blind-Fight
11. Combat Casting
12. Combat Expertise
13. Improved Disarm
14. Improved Feint
15. Improved Trip
16. Whirlwind Attack
17. Combat Reflexes
18. Deceitful
19. Deft Hands
20. Diligent
21. Dodge
22. Mobility
23. Spring Attack
24. Endurance
25. Diehard
26. Eschew Materials
27. Exotic Weapon Proficiency
28. Extra Turning
29. Great Fortitude
30. Improved Counterspell
31. Improved Critical
32. Improved Familiar
33. Improved Initiative
34. Improved Turning
35. Improved Unarmed Strike
36. Deflect Arrows
37. Improved Grapple
38. Snatch Arrows
39. Stunning Fist
40. Investigator
41. Iron Will
42. Leadership
43. Lightning Reflexes
44. Magical Aptitude
45. Martial Weapon Proficiency

46. Mounted Combat
47. Mounted Archery
48. Ride-By Attack
49. Spirited Charge
50. Trample
51. Natural Spell
52. Negotiator
53. Nimble Fingers
54. Persuasive
55. Point Blank Shot
56. Far Shot
57. Precise Shot
58. Improved Precise Shot

59. Rapid Shot
60. Manyshot
61. Shot On The Run
62. Power Attack
63. Cleave
64. Great Cleave
65. Improved Bull Rush
66. Improved Overrun
67. Improved Sunder
68. Quick Draw
69. Rapid Reload
70. Run
71. Self-Sufficient
72. Shield Proficiency
73. Improved Shield Bash
74. Tower Shield Proficiency,
75. Simple Weapon Proficiency
76. Skill Focus
77. Spell Focus
78. Greater Spell Focus
79. Spell Mastery
80. Spell Penetration
81. Greater Spell Penetration
82. Stealthy
83. Toughness
84. Track
85. Two-Weapon Fighting
86. Two-Weapon Defense
87. Improved Two-Weapon Fighting
88. Greater Two-Weapon Fighting
89. Weapon Finesse
90. Weapon Focus
91. Weapon Specialization
92. Greater Weapon Focus
93. Greater Weapon Specialization
94. Brew Potion
95. Craft Magic Arms And Armor
96. Craft Rod
97. Craft Staff
98. Craft Wand
99. Craft Wondrous Item
100. Forge Ring
101. Scribe Scroll
102. Empower Spell
103. Enlarge Spell
104. Extend Spell
105. Heighten Spell
106. Maximize Spell
107. Quicken Spell
108. Silent Spell
109. Still Spell
110. Widen Spell

Alignment: 1d10

1. Lawful Good

2. Neutral Good

3. Chaotic Good

4. Lawful Neutral

5. True Neutral

6. Chaotic Neutral

7. Lawful Evil

8. Neutral Evil

9. Chaotic Evil

10. Roll again

Deity: 1d20

1. Boccob

2. Corellon

3. Ehlonna

4. Erythnul

5. Fharlanghn

6. Garl

7. Gruumsh

8. Heirnoeous

9. Hextor

10. Kord

11. Moradin

12. Nerull

13. Obad-Hai

14. Olidammara

15. Pelor

16. St. Cuthbert

17. Vecna

18. Wee Jas

19. Yondalla

20. Random deity from another source

Vital stats already have random tables, use them. 

Gear: 1d12

Roll randomly for amount of gold as normal, but spend it randomly. Once an item is purchased, you may opt to not buy it a second time should it roll on the same item twice. If you cannot afford the item rolled, roll for a different item. Buy items until you are out of money or down to less than 10gp. 

1. Trade goods

2. Weapons

3. Armor & Shields

4. Adventuring Gear

5. Special substances & items

6. Tools and skill kits

7. Clothing

8. Food, drink, and lodging

9. Mounts & related gear

10. Transport

11. Spellcasting & services

12. Asian & Renaissance Stuff from the DMG...or gear from any other source

On each item list, roll 1d100 and count out until you hit the number you rolled. If your number is higher than the items in the list, go back to the beginning of the list and count out again. Alternatively, spend a ton of time making a table for each item list. Good luck with that. 

For spellcasters,  roll randomly for spells at each level. There may already be tables for that, but using the 1d100 method will likely work well enough for the purposes of this sort of non-sense.